You need: A clock or an egg timer.

How to play:

Pick a time interval -- 20 minutes, let's say. (If you're like us, even

10 minutes will be a change from the norm.) Whatever interval you

choose, absolutely do not allow penetration until that much time has


Why: Most busy couples have foreplay

down to a science -- and a bare minimum as well. "Time Bomb" refocuses

you on the pregame show, the part that used to be so much fun before you

lived together. You'll be surprised by how much slowing down changes

things. You get really creative. You get really hot.

You need: A scarf, a man's necktie or a blindfold.

How to play:

Blindfold him. Lead him to the bed or other locale. Then proceed to

ravish him -- slowly, recklessly, teasingly, however you feel like doing

it. You call the shots. Let his arousal be your guide.


Not being able to see during sex has two major effects -- it

dramatically increases both sensitivity and psychological vulnerability.

Either one is a powerful aphrodisiac. Together they can create a love


Variation: He blindfolds you.

You need: Four men's neckties or more elaborate restraints available from a sex-toy store or from an Internet site; and a bed, preferably with bedposts.

How to play: He ties your wrists and ankles to the bedposts and has his way with you.


I have to admit, this is my favorite game -- and I never even tried it

until I was in my late 30s. I find it incredibly erotic to be completely

powerless, to be the absolute center of his attention and to have no

responsibility for or power over what happens. I find it erotic just to

think about. If you've never tried it, please do.


If you don't have bedposts, you may be able to tie your wrists to some

part of your headboard or tie them together over your head or behind

your back. You can get extra-long ties and be tied to the legs of the

bed. This can be combined with blindfolding, but I actually prefer to



You need: A hairbrush or a riding crop -- or nothing at all.

How to play:

Tell your husband all the things you did wrong today. (You failed to

take your coupons to the grocery store. You forgot the name of your new

receptionist at work. You told your adolescent son to go to hell.) Then

kneel on the bed. Your husband spanks you, using his hand or a hairbrush

or a not-too-scary disciplinary accessory.


Spanking feels good, actually. A smart smack on the butt creates a

tingly, alert sensation that combines well with the other feelings of

sex. This is another thing I tried quite late in life and have been

surprised to find is fun. I like it even without any role-playing or

confessions -- really.

Variation: The sensations are

especially interesting if he combines them with playing with the various

woman parts that will perforce be on display during your spanking. This

is an excellent time to try inserting a vibrator.

You need: A big towel or blanket and a bottle of massage oil or cream.

How to play:

Spread your towel on the bed or carpet and grease each other up with

massage oil -- legs, torso, breasts, everywhere. Now roll around for

awhile and see what happens.

Why: You will really be

surprised at the difference a little lubricant makes in the feeling of

skin on skin. Sure, it's a little messy. But worth it.

Variation: If you have a favorite secluded spot, this is fun to do outdoors, even on your own patio.


Don't put mint or eucalyptus oil on sensitive genital areas. But if you

have a nonirritating lubricant, greasing up the sexual equipment can be

part of the fun.

Note: Oil-based lubricants, including

massage oil, can degrade latex. So don't play this game if you're using

condoms or a diaphragm.

You need: Scissors, a brand-new razor and shaving cream.

How to play:

Your husband shaves your pubic hair. First, take a hot bath to soften

your skin and hair. Second, use scissors to trim the length. Third, lie

on the bed or on a table and let that shaving expert, your husband, foam

you up and shave you. It's scary at first, but if he's gentle you will

not get nicked. He can shave everything or just neaten you up. One

friend's artistic husband shaved her hair into a heart.


This is how the girls in porn magazines look, and you will be amazed at

the sparks that fly. Many women find the whole area much more sensitive

without the fur.

Variation: Shave yourself without

telling your husband, and let him discover what you've done. Be careful

when shaving parts you cannot see (this is what mirrors are for). Also,

once you've shaved, decorating yourself with the edible treat of his

choice -- whipped cream, warmed fudge sauce, frozen orange-juice

concentrate -- can be fun.

Note: Later, use baby lotion

or another gentle cream to soothe the freshly shaved skin. And yes, it

does get a little itchy when it grows back.


You need: A car and a parking spot where you won't be interrupted (your driveway and your garage late at night are possibilities).

How to play: Have sex in the car.

Why: A blast from the past.

Sex School You need: Nothing.

How to play:

Pretend that one of you is a virgin. The other is going to teach him or

her how it's all done. Give a step-by-step lesson on how to use hands,

lips and other body parts to stimulate the teacher. Part of the game is

to correct and improve technique as you go along.


You find out things your partner likes that you didn't even know. When

we did this my husband showed me things to do during oral sex that I

really had never tried before, and I know I'm doing a better job now.